If you were faced with your own mortality, if you found out that you had a short time to live, what would you wish could have been different in your life? What regrets might you have? All too often, you might find yourself engulfed – drowning, even – in the minutiae of life without pausing every now and then to contemplate where you really are and more importantly, who you’ve become. Are you brave enough to strive to get to a point of feeling fulfilled with both?

Bronnie Ware, writer of the blog Inspiration and Chai, seems to be one of those eternally sunlit figures that seeks nothing but the good for others. After years of working in palliative care with patients sent home to live out their last days in peace, Bronnie found herself asking the same questions of the individuals she cared for. She noted reoccurring themes in responses over the years.

I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

“When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled.”

Remarkably this was the most common regret her patients expressed to her. Expectations from our family, friends, colleagues, and even the expectations we perceive from society that continue to oppose the concept of contentment in life may cause us to swerve from what truly brings us happiness. Battling against our own ideas of what we should be: wealthy, prominent, “successful” may be one of the most difficult hurdles to overcome in this pursuit as well.

“It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.”

I wish I didn’t work so hard.

Sadly, all of Ms. Ware’s male patients felt deep regret for living so much of their lives in the hamster wheel of work, having been part of a generation where most female patients were not the family breadwinners.

Interestingly, a worldwide survey of happiness reveals that beyond a certain income level (that which covers your basic needs), happiness is not contingent on money. According to the research, happiness in wealthier countries is now far more dependant on closer personal relationships, good health and job satisfaction. “We always think if we just had a little bit more money, we’d be happier,” says Catherine Sanderson, a psychology professor at Amherst College, “but when we get there, we’re not.” “Once you get basic human needs met, a lot more money doesn’t make a lot more happiness,” notes Dan Gilbert, a psychology professor at Harvard University and the author of the book Stumbling on Happiness.

Indeed, the more you make, the more you want. The more you have, the less effective it is at bringing you joy, and that seeming paradox has long bedeviled economists.

Simplifying your lifestyle will free you of a lot of time and money spent in maintaining a lifestyle that the world deems as “successful”. It is entirely possible to not require the income that you may think you need. By doing this, more time and energy can be focused on new experiences, opportunities, and the relationships you want to cultivate. And it’s the relationships that matter.

(To be continued…)




References:

Futrelle, David. “Can Money Buy Happiness?” CNNMoney. Cable News Network, 18 July 2006. Web. 23 June 2011. http://money.cnn.com/magazines/moneymag/moneymag_archive/2006/08/01/8382225/index.htm.